The Un-Motivation Factor

So many parents who adopt older children get excited about the many opportunities their newly adopted child will have after they join the family.

  • They will have regular, healthy meals.
  • They will have the opportunity to get a good education.
  • They will experience love and connection in their new family.
  • They may even be provided opportunities to heal from their past trauma through various types of therapies.

Most, if not all, of these opportunities would not have been possible before being placed in their new family.

However, many parents found that in the excitement to provide their child new opportunities, they neglected to take one factor into consideration: UNmotivation.

The unmotivation factor comes into play when the child is not interested in experiencing these opportunities. Perhaps they do not value education in the same way their parents do and are not as committed to achieving their highest educational potential. Or maybe they are not in a place where they can work through their past in therapy.

Consequently, the lack of motivation may be by choice, but it can also be due to inability. They may simply not be able to step outside of their comfort zone.

How can you inspire motivation in your child? Great question.

Some children may be willing and able to respond to your encouragement while others will not.

For some, it is about their need to be in control but other find changes scary. Some may jump at the chance to grow while others need to be prodded.

As parents, we simply need to continue to provide our children encouragement to pursue opportunities, yet we should not get discouraged or frustrated when our child chooses not to step outside of their comfort zone. It is hard to see their potential when they do not see it (or desire it).

But it is important to remember it is not our journey, it is theirs. We can only continue to encourage them while celebrating the small steps they make. And sometimes celebrating the small victories is what keeps us going!

Dr. Kris Kittle

Author Dr. Kris Kittle

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